Cards
If plastic is a threat to the environment, it’s cards that will finally fill the landfills. I mean, cards like Visa, Mastercard, Discovery. They started a trend, I think, that has ballooned out of control. Now every business wants you to have their plastic card.
I’m sorting through my billfold this very moment. Let’s see. I have, in addition to above-mentioned credit cards, a plastic identification card for my job, which no one has ever asked me to produce in order to identify myself. I have one from State Farm insurance. I am a member of the Vons Club since I once bought groceries there in 2004. My union sent me a card, the financial advisor who helped me set up a retirement account gave me a card. I don’t mean a flimsy laminated here’s-my-card-if-you-have-any-questions deal, I mean a bit of plastic fit for running through a strip-detector. My health insurer gave me a card. My video store, my gym… even Pet Co gave me a card!
Actually, this is not a bad thing. I just moved into a new place dangerously near the Pet Co, and since I have three cats, Pet Co is quickly becoming my Medina, my second-most holy destination (Home Depot being Mecca.)
But this card business is out of control. They’ve overwhelmed the seams of my wallet and I need a new one. I wonder if any enterprising college kids have developed a drinking game based on all these cards. I have almost enough cards to play poker. Visas would be Kings, we could have Mastercard Queens, and Discovery Jacks… gym memberships would outrank grocery stores, which would in turn outrank video stores. And Pet Co could be the wild card, because a store that will charge you $40 for an ingloo-shaped piece of plastic called the Booda Kitty Litter Box is capable of anything.
