U want 2B me!
“I can’t party; my camera’s broken!”
Partying in L.A. absolutely requires a digital camera nowadays. As far as I can tell, young people here do not party for the fun of it anymore. They party so they can take numerous pictures of themselves and their drunken friends. They then stagger home and, still tanked, download the photos so they can update their MySpace page.
This is the new essential partying: that which requires voyeurs to make the experience complete. It’s not enough to have fun. Others, unknown but surely envious, must be imagined perusing your debauchery the next morning. What fun is it to dance on the table at some Weho club, or drunkenly lose your bikini top in the swimming pool at the Standard, if you cannot pretend to be embarrassed tomorrow when the pictures hit your best friend’s MySpace page, and you’re the Britney Spears of your little set?
In the spirit of reciprocity, remember that you must also upload pictures of your best girlfriends having a riproaring good time. Pictures of them kissing strange men are okay, but pictures of them kissing each other are far more desirable for the fascinated onlookers who must surely come to stare on the morrow.
But that’s not all. Photos require captions, and you mustn’t be too articulate or they’ll know that really, you’re a dweeb.
Yo! mo hos!!
U wan2B me!
Me & my homegurl
Los Angeles feeds on celebrity, and celebrities need scandal. But with MySpace and a digital camera, you too can be scandalous. You can be the object of interest. U Can B a MySpace star. And if your friend uploads a truly unflattering picture of you, remember: It’s not Bitch!! anymore. It’s biatch!!
